Thursday, 8 May 2008

See me.... Pt4

On the day when Chris Parry, the new head of the Independent Schools Council, was widely misquoted as saying that he found state schools ‘offensive’ it seems appropriate to post the last in the series of literary gems provided by students in their English language essays.

Tomorrow belongs to them, apparently.

25. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

26. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium

27. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

28. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

29. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

30. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

31. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

32. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

8 comments:

Nunyaa said...

*giggles*, very good post.

jmb said...

Don't you love the modern simile? So poetic!

Harry Hook said...

I have to admit, I wrote some H/Torrid stuff in the 6th form...

"He caressed her torso with the genuflection of desire"

Which didn't go down (pun intended) at all well, with one particular Catholic English teacher

Liz said...

You have to admit that they work very hard to be original!

Julie said...

Perhaps they are all going to be comedians - they all made me smile. :-)

jams o donnell said...

Brilliant Grendel! They are so wonderfully inventive. It's a relief to see that our mother tongue is in good hands

Colin Campbell said...

I always struggled with imagery and metaphors. My essays were always uninspiring and short.

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