Friday, 28 September 2007

Another Virus Alert.



According to reports, the sources of which I can’t quite remember, the authorities have warned of the spread of another infectious virus, the ‘Browntongue’.

The ‘Browntongue’ seems primarily to attack employees working within the mainstream media.

A few isolated pockets of an earlier and slightly less virulent mutation of this disease had previously been identified in Canada Square, Farringdon Road and Portland Place in London.

However over the last 12 weeks or so the spread through journalists has been as shocking as it is dangerous.

The ‘Browntongue’ seems to attack areas of the brain that deal with logic and communication and have the following recognisable symptoms;

*Journos and commentators wandering around their pens

*The inability to remember actions and events which link either side of the 27/6/2007.

*The tendency to repeatedly mumble back everything that is said to them and a narrowing of peripheral vision which results in single track commentary.

Bloggers in the main are believed to be unaffected.

There are concerns however that the ‘Browntonge’ may mutate and spread to other public figures and eventually to the population at large.

Researchers have already identified some new strains, the ‘Fatusquislingus’ (code named Davis) the ‘Blakusbastardicus (Code name Mercer) and the ‘Missusdragsus’ (code name Bercow) although the latter two require further laboratory investigation to ascertain any potential danger.

It has been reported that there will be a meeting of experts held in Blackpool next week who it is said may be able to provide an antidote to the ‘Browntongue’.

I have my doubts but I do hope that they are correct.

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