Sunday, 9 September 2007
The saps rising!
You really could not make this up.
According to various sources.
American ‘conceptual artist’ Jonathon Keats has come up with a new form of movie -- pornography for plants featuring 'uncensored pollination'.
He decided to try to entertain plants, arguing that they were sensitive to light so cinema was "practically made for them." But rather than let them watch a film he decided to make a film to project on their leaves so they could absorb it.
Keats said he could not judge plants' mind-set so he decided to settle on the one thing that was bound to be a hit - sex.
"I knew enough about their reproduction process to make an educated guess at what might titillate them and that was pollination," Keats said.
He has filmed a six-minute long video of plants getting pollinated then edited his uncensored footage into a gritty black-and-white porn video. "It is very boring but that is part of the essence of pornography, that it is very repetitive," he said.
"This project is an initial effort to bring cinema to the plant kingdom but also it gives humans the chance to reflect on themselves by stepping away from everyday experiences and looking back on themselves," Keats explained.
With his agricultural background and particular interests I hope I am not treading on Theo Spark’s territory with this post.
I think I may have discovered a new career here. The wonderful world of the conceptual artist.. I have this idea fermenting about films of rocking horses and eye patches projected onto the white cliffs of Dover. I wonder if I should apply for a Government grant to assist with this.